Eight Mosquito Bites Later...

You know it’s going to be a bad time when you are convinced that a ride at Disney World will give you any sort of transferable skills that you can use in a real-world situation.

But alas, there I was, sitting in a boat in the middle of a river, armed with only an oar and the seemingly valuable knowledge I had gained from the Davy Crockett Explorer Canoe Adventure attraction.  Sadly, it turns out that real life is vastly different from theme parks.

Kristen and I got off to a bit of a rocky start, one might say, as we immediately started on a collision course with the embankment the moment we stepped foot into the canoe.  I would like to say that we narrowly avoided the impact through a mix of steering prowess and teamwork, but that would be a blatant lie.  But we eventually got the hang of it, for the most part.

For the first mile or so, I have to say, I was a little bit disenchanted with the experience.  The surroundings kind of reminded me of Indiana, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  It was kind of just a bunch of yellowish grass and…not much else.  Perhaps I had romanticized the idea of a canoe trip too much.  Another thing that didn’t help was the fact that we had somehow managed to position ourselves so far behind the main pack that we could no longer see anyone in front of us, but yet there were still a few stragglers that were far behind.  It was basically just me, Kristen, and the Trinity.  We managed to take solace in the fact that at least we weren’t last.

Things started to look up when the people behind us started catching up and we finally had some company.  One of the student supervisors decided that it would be funny to ram our canoe with his kayak.  My life flashed before my eyes.  Once he regained our trust, he started regaling us with tales of his fascinating life, and eventually the conversation somehow ended up with a rousing game of “make it or break it.”  His contribution was “pancake hands”: if you met someone who was perfect in every way except for the fact that they have syrupy pancakes for hands, would it be a deal breaker?  I felt like more information needed to be given in order for me to make an accurate assessment.  Can he still perform everyday functions with these pancake hands or is this some sort of debilitating ailment?  Yes, he manages to live a normal life.  Do the hands grow back if you eat them off?  Of course.  I thought this wasn’t too bad of a deal.  My canoe mate was horrified.  Hey, at least you would always have a tasty snack around.  I learned some other interesting things about Kristen during this exercise.  Apparently she would not marry someone who exclusively ate dirt, even if he was perfect in every other way.  How shallow.

Eventually we caught up to the main group, and that’s when the fun really started.  I was reminded of home here at good ol’ TCU when I saw a stray Chick-fil-A cup floating merrily along the river.  Chick-fil-A always finds a way, doesn’t it?  I remember that a lot of people stopped to take pictures at this point.  Most of the girls were pretty stoked about finally having the opportunity to employ the canoe emoji.  It’s the little things.  We ended up rowing right next to Dr. Williams for a while.  In true honors-student fashion, Kristen and I were determined to outrun (outpaddle?) him.  He politely reminded us that it’s not a race, before swiftly gaining on us and leaving us in his dust.  After that, I decided that it truly was not a race.  Not a race I was going to win, anyway.  Again, Kristen and I managed to find solace in the fact that we weren’t last.

Well, we spoke too soon.  We ended up in the very back of the pack somehow and that is where we managed to stay for the duration of the trip.  But it was okay.  It was peaceful back there.  By far my favorite event of the night was when we rounded the corner and got the view of the illuminated skyline.  Sometimes I forget how beautiful our city can be. 

Although I will admit, a close second for that "favorite moment" title came when we were all pooped from the trip and it was time to load the canoes into the cars and go home.  All the men grabbed the boats and started heaving and stacking.  Meanwhile, all the women of the trip stood by, watching on the sidelines, providing moral support.  It just goes to show: everyone's a feminist...until they have to lift heavy objects.

I am not an outdoorsy person, so I was honestly a little dubious about how this whole experience would go.  But it was actually so much fun.  There’s nothing quite like that river breeze hitting your face when you start to get a good rowing rhythm going.  Despite creepy forests and the eight bug bites that I somehow ended up accumulating during the excursion, I have every intention of coming back for a midnight paddle.   

As long as they can get enough people to sign up for it, that is.